Acts 29

The one thing that I appreciate most about Mark Driscoll is not his communication skills although he is a brilliant and gifted communicator. It is not his wit and humor and ability to make people laugh in almost any context. It is not his photographic memory or his understanding of complicated doctrinal and theological concepts. I think his IQ is on par with genius but none of that really matters that much to me. What impresses me most is when I sit in his house with him while his family is around. Our conversations are often interrupted with kids aged 9 and under running in uninhibited as they throw their bodies in their dad's lap. Our topics are quickly paused as he listens intently to his children's request or comment, regardless how insignificant to "important" adults with pressing schedules.

No matter how talented a pastor, his family role is paramount to his calling, his character and his competency. The Apostle Paul lists the qualification for an elder that is above reproach to both Timothy and Titus. The requirement is that his marriage is upright, honorable and that it demonstrates sexual fidelity: "husband of one wife" (1 Tim. 3:2). Furthermore he is spiritually leading his family with dignity and his children do not have a rebellious pattern in their life (1 Tim. 3:3; Titus 1:6).

My oldest son just graduated gold cord from high school. We pulled him out of his high school between his junior and senior years. It was a difficult decision that he helped us make by his attitude and words. When we were talking as a family about the decision to move to Seattle to direct Acts 29 my wife said pleading for her children, "We can't pull Derrin out of his senior year." Recognizing the fit of my skill set to the job our then 17 year old starting quarterback, point guard and popular son said, "How can we reject the call of God in our lives even if it messes with our world?" His mother started crying and said, "Start packing."

The value of a family above reproach is that a pastor is able to listen intently to the call of God in his life and knows that his family will be blessed when they obediently follow it. That calling may not involve a move but certainly involves some sacrifice, just as Christ obediently followed the call of God in His life through sacrifice (Phil. 2:4-8).

The value of a family above reproach is that a pastor's character is proven more fully. There is room for a single pastor and a pastor without children but his character is more fully evident in the context of a family. His teaching is purified through the fire of marriage and child-rearing. Great fathers often make great pastors who are more patient, loving, disciplined and caring. Great husbands understand Jesus' love, sacrifice, and devotedness for his church. A pastor with a family above reproach serves as an example for the rest of the flock who is often struggling in their marriage and family (1 Tim. 4:12). A pastor must be able to proclaim to the rest of the church, "Imitate my behavior including that as a father and husband (1 Cor. 4:16 ff.). Pastors have a difficult time putting themselves forward as examples, but this is something they are called to do. Disciples learn from other disciples just as children live within families to learn from others. Pastors are to be examples of people who love Christ and their congregations more than they love themselves. A Christian minister should live out a Christ-like life and lead others to do the same. Paul loved the people of Corinth in such a deep, pure way and so he urged them to imitate him as children imitate a father. A pastor puts upon himself the right kind of pastor when he calls upon others to imitate him. He does a good thing when he makes himself an example of godliness. A pastor is called to teach better than he can live. A pastor can do this. But he is called to live in such a way that he illustrates the great truths that he preaches from God's Word. The example of the pastor should be one that can be followed in the church.

The value of a pastor's family above reproach is that of competency. Of all of the requirements of a pastor listed by Paul to Timothy, only one gives an explanation. After stating that a pastor's household must be managed well-including his children, Paul elaborates by stating essentially that a pastor who has a home that is out of control cannot effectively manage God's church. He is incompetent to lead the church. An elder's primary role is to oversee the church. He proves his ability to do this by being able to properly lead his own wife and children. A pastor's home that has a rebellious wife and disobedient children will produce a church full of insubordinate and sinful attendees with half-hearted devotion to Christ.

Being above reproach does not mean that a pastor and his family are sinless. If that were the case, no one would qualify. It does mean that it is a home that is filled with the Word of God, with the Spirit of Christ and with regular confession, repentance and restoration through the person and work of Jesus.