Stone's Throw Church | Middletown, DE

• Daniel Betters
• Sep 26, 2011
• Series: Church Profiles
• Categories: Church Planting Articles, Latest News

Briefly describe your story of your call to plant a church

I didn't set out to plant a church. My plan was to become an associate pastor and possibly learn how to become a lead pastor in an established church. I had worked on the staff of a great church for 13 years when it became apparent to the Elders and to me that I was being called by God to plant a church in a growing area in Delaware. The planting church decided to whole heartedly support the planting of Stone's Throw Church in Middletown, Delaware--the community where I lived. I desired to plant a church that would reach those who were unchurched, hated church or were de-churched. We wanted to plant a church where those who are far from God would be able to hear of His grace, mercy and provision through Jesus Christ His Son. Glasgow Church (the planting church) where I had been a pastor for 13 years boldly put out the call to those who wanted to plant with me and supported us financially to get the team assembled. 150 people started Sto ne's Throw Church. 1 year after launching we became a particular church in the Presbyterian Church in America and have grown to about 350 people on a Sunday morning.

How did you build up your core? What advice would you give to guys in the core-stage?

Stone's Throw Church was started with a vision and an announcement to an established church. We put the call out to the an established congregation that we were going to plant a new church in a growing community. 150 people answered the call. So my challenge was unique in that I had to organize a strong leadership team quickly and begin organizing those who believed they were called to plant Stone's Throw Church. I read a lot of books to get started. I basically googled, "top 10 books on church planting" and came across a site which had a list of books that would become my resources for several months. I adapted much of what Ed Stetzer has to say in his book, "Planting Missional Churches" and applied it to our context. We formed "Critical Teams" which consisted of a Finance Team, Children's Ministry Team, Worship Team, Facilities Team (we are portable), Welcome Team, and a Community Group Team. Each Team had 2-3 leaders. These leaders became our Ministry Team Leaders. I began meeting with them weekly to share the vision of Stone's Throw. They bought in. We then began to organize the remaining 150 people into areas of interest and put them on the different Ministry Teams. We were able to organize quickly. My advice to guys in the core-stage is regardless of how you start you need to make sure that the leaders are on the same missional page as you. Most church planters that I meet have been feeding on Resurgence, Acts 29, and preachers such as Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, Darren Patrick, Tim Keller, and John Piper as well as many others. But in reality, many of the people that want to plant with you need to catch up with what you have been feeding on for 5-10 years. It takes time. Share with them and teach them in the same way that you have been taught. Be patient. And remember your context and the unique ministry to which God has called you to.

What were the biggest challenges you faced in planting your church (and/or currently facing)?

The biggest challenges we have faced in planting Stone's Throw has been in teaching churched people that it isn't all about churched people. Missional is a new word to many even though it has been used often in pastoral circles. Doing life and mission together in a suburban context is a new idea and is counter to what is engrained in suburban America. Most suburban adults look at their home as their refuge and redemption. They don't desire to be in community until their home life fails them. My biggest challenge has been in teaching the church what it means to do life and mission together.

How did you become involved with Acts 29? What have been the biggest benefits of being in the network?

I became involved in Acts 29 after hearing about it through the preaching ministry of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. I also came across Acts 29 while doing research for planting Stone's Throw Church. At the same time, one of my friends and brothers in the Presbytery had been assessed by Acts 29 as he was planting a church in Delaware.

The benefits of Acts 29 have been invaluable. I mostly wanted to join so that I could help plant churches and so that I would know I wasn't doing it alone. Since the start I have found and met new brothers in the Lord. I am being coached by an older man who loves Jesus. I have networked with some pretty wise guys. I have also been able to use the City and other connections to seek out wisdom and advice. The biggest benefit is having someone to sharpen and encourage you who is going through the same trials.

What advice do you have for men who are wrestling with the decision to plant? 

First, talk to men who have planted. Write down questions that you have and ask those questions. Find out how you are similar and how you are different. Listen to the war stories and pray as to whether or not that is the kind of life God is calling you to.

Second, talk to your wife. Find out if she wants to labor with you as you plant. Will she be your pastor? Will she support the work? Assure her of what her role will be. Ask her if she thinks you have what it takes to plant.

Third, talk to your Elders in your church. Find out if the church will support you financially, with resources, people and prayer. I think that too many church planters try to go it alone. They need help. They need resources. If another church wants to help you, make sure you have a written agreement on what the relationship will look like. There are great resources in books as to what that relationship might look like. But ask your pastors and elders if they think you are called and if they think you are gifted.

Fourth, test your gifts. Serve at your church and ask where they need the most help. You might be able to preach and teach, or lead a ministry, or organize programs. I had the benefit of working at a church while going through seminary. I found this to be invaluable. Working at a church prepared me to plant a church. It would be good for you to see the ins and outs of the church working as an organism and as an organization. You will need to know both when you plant.

Finally, read, read, read. You need to read about what other men have done and listen to their war stories. Take notes. Plan out your vision and your tactical plan as you read. It won't be perfect. Your vision statement has already been written by another church planter somewhere. You don't need to be completely unique as you can only restate the Great Commission in so many ways. Put together your tactical plan and execute.

Of course all of this is covered in prayer. Establish a team that will pray with you and for you. I was able to meet with the eventual Elders of Stone's Throw and the Ministry Team Leaders and labor in prayer with them. Be praying constantly.

What’s the most important thing you’d want to share with a new church planter?   

After all your vision statements and tactical plans have been laid out be prepared for God to change everything. You are a servant of Jesus Christ. This is not your church as it was not purchased with your blood. We often have a vision as to what our church should be and what it will become. We then spend a bunch of time learning how to see as God sees and do as God says. Allow God to transform you and sanctify you. Even our best laid plans are subject to God's sovereignty.

How do you pastor your family?

I love my family. I have 5 children. My wife and I have been married for 11 years. I pastor my family by spending tons of time with my wife and children, putting away the work of church planting, shepherding my children, and loving my wife. In addition to daily life, we have a family night every Wednesday--not at church. We do this at home. My wife and I plan out a night of fun, eating, games, and laughter. On family night we will read Scripture after dinner, take a trip to the beach or the mall, and stay up late watching movies. Additionally, I take one child out each week for breakfast. My wife and I spend regular amounts of time together each day and we try to go out once a week without any children. I also spend time with each of my kids every night by teaching them the Betters Shorter Catechism and talking theology with them. They always ask the best questions. My wife and I will watch sermons together and will go to Acts 29 c onferences together so that we are being fed.

Outside of the Bible, what is the most helpful book you have read for church planting?

Ed Stetzer, "Planting Missional Churches."

Church Profile: Stone's Throw Church
Launch Date: September 2010
Location: Middletown, DE

Mission, Vision, Values of Church 

Stone's Throw exists to be a Gospel presence in our community as we make a big impact for Jesus.

What are some examples of God's grace that you have seen in your life and/or the life of your church?

When I was 17 years old, my 16 year old brother who was also my best friend was killed in a tragic car accident. That changed everything for me. I have been able to experience God's grace in a way that only suffering allows. My suffering has allowed me to enter deeply into other people's suffering. I am part of a club I would rather have no knowledge of but I have experienced God's grace as he has been patient with me and long suffering with me. God has demonstrated to me over and over again that He indeed is sovereign and can be trusted.

In the life of our church I have watched as God has transformed many people, young and old, through the preaching of His Word. I have led more people to Jesus this past year than I did in the previous 13 years of ministry. I have watched as God continually transforms people who are far from Him into disciples of Jesus. It has been very cool to watch and very humbling to be used by God in this way.

How can we pray for you?

We need prayer as we continue to pastor our big family. Four of our children are biological and one is adopted. Multi-Cultural Adoption brings unique issues to a family. Pray that our church would continue to move forward united under the Gospel.