Acts 29

When I attended the radical reformission conference at Mars Hill, Coram Deo was only a few months old.  A pastor named Rick Mckinley taught about God’s Kingdom and referred to it as the beautiful mess.  That term didn’t mean all that much to me.  At that point in our church, things looked very well.  We started with a group of about 40 people meeting in a Grange hall that had that typical old building musty smell to it.  We had two peavey keyboard amps for a sound system and one acoustic guitar for a band.  In spite of that, we doubled in about a month and out grew our facility.  God opened a door to a new location, a 10,000 square foot building with class rooms and no musty smell.  The rent was way out of our reach, but the owners were believers and were part of our group so they gave us the hook up and we moved in exactly three months after we started.  By our first meeting there, we had a rocking band that was a mix of The Who, Led Zeppelin, and Johnny Cash.  Things were rockin and everything looked good.  Attendance was up, people were excited, and we had a building!  There were some minor distractions though.  A guy showed up for our first three weeks and let us know that his ministry is to fix churches like ours.  (No Thanks!)  Then another dude showed up and wanted to argue about divorce.  He was certain that someone who had been divorced was going to hell, though he openly admitted he was guilty of lust.  He also didn’t want to discuss who Jesus was.  But he got irritated because I like Guinness and left us alone as well.  Other than that, things seemed to be going pretty well.

 I attended the Acts 29 pastors gathering in Colorado which was great time of getting to know other guys.  We had a time to introduce ourselves and give a snap shot of how things were going.  I remember Ethan Burmeister (gotta love a guy with the last name Burmeister) sharing that we was preparing to write a book on how to do everything wrong in church planting.   We all laughed but his face was straight as an arrow.  That made it all the better.  I remember guy after guy sharing the heart aches and struggles of their church plant.  I almost felt guilty because things seemed to be going really well for us.  It’s like I was waiting for it to hit the fan.  And then it happened.

 It was a short time after the Colorado conference that we began to deal with “issues” within our body.  What had looked really good for almost a year was showing itself to be incredibly superficial.  So much of the pretty appearance at Coram Deo proved itself to be just that...appearance.  We had our worship guy take a break which opened up the door for all sorts of problems.  It wasn’t his fault.  It’s just that him taking a break was the prick that popped the balloon.  We immediately had a potentially dangerous situation on our hands.  The elders were forced to deal with a guy who had a small following, who, for all we can tell, was there to tear apart our group.  We had a load of emails sent out attacking me, the other elders, and people in our group.  We had phone calls, lies, accusations, and letters from lawyers.  Just previous to that situation, we had an elder step down for issues of mission, which was a total surprise and hard to deal with as a body.  People wanted to know juicy details...and there were none.  He just changed his mind.  The whole deal was almost unbearable.  In the midst of this, we had launched a second service which proved to be a mistake on our part.  In addition, I began a series through Hosea which is a great way to solve any space issues you might have.  With the flashy band gone, attacks coming from within, and weekly floggings from Hosea, it seemed as though so much of what looked good was quickly fading.  People were leaving the church.  We had people who do not attend for worship on a regular basis leaving notes about how the worship sucked.  (ironic) I was also in the midst of the lowest depression I had ever known in ministry.  I felt totally inadequate for my job. I felt like every sermon was horrible.  I felt like everything I was doing was a failure and everything was falling apart because of me.  I now have a better understanding of what the beautiful mess is all about.  I can also say that I would be right there with Ethan in his book.

 This past year, God has been so faithful!  The Bible tells us to consider it PURE JOY, when we face trials of many kinds.  Peter tells us that we shouldn’t consider it odd when we face difficult times.  Paul tells us that we have been appointed to suffer.  Jesus tells us that we will be hated.   What’s the point of all of this?  This past year has taught me that true faith isn’t always pretty.  It’s taught me that’s God’s Kingdom is a mess here on earth.  It’s taught me that ministry happens in trenches, not just department stores.  It’s forced the things that fill my head to arouse my soul.  It’s taught me that there is a world of difference between profession and practice, intention and incarnation.  It’s taught me that sin is more devastating that I could imagine.  It’s taught me that Jesus is more beautiful than I can understand.  It’s taught me that one of the most loving things God can do for me is to crush my soul so that I might cling to him.  It’s taught me that suffering is the way of ministry.  Things are way more difficult today than they were a year ago.  But I feel that God is moving in our body to create a group of missionaries who truly love Him and truly love Bremerton.  It’s easy to gather a group of spectators.  It’s incredibly difficult to mobilize a group of missionaries.  What God has shown us is that there is no glory or joy in spectating and that pruning is the way to growth. 

 Throughout the past few months, we have lost a number of people.  But, we have gained a number of missionaries.  The struggles that we have been through have in a sense, drawn a line in the sand, and everyone at Coram Deo has had to determine where they are at.  Some have left and we thank God for that.  Some have risen up and embraced the vision and mission.  We thank God for that as well.  What we have now is not pretty, but I believe that it is real, and that is the only way I would have it.