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The Man & His Marriage

When we look at the scriptures we see five components of a man of God, not to be applied legalistically, but they reveal God’s heart. There are four components that precede the first man being blessed with a wife. These are vital because they are the elements of a man of God and are in this order:

1. A man of God has life (Gen. 2:7)
2. A man of God has a place/purpose (Gen. 2:8)
3. A man of God has a job and a godly work ethic (Gen. 2:15)
4. A man of God has a role (Gen. 2:16-17)
5. A man of God sacrificially loves his wife (Gen. 2:18-25)

I think it’s vital to understand that every other title we have springs from being a son of the living God. Understanding our sonship enables us to sacrificially love and lead our wives.

Genesis 2:7

"Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature."

A man of God has life and that life comes from being in a loving and thriving relationship with God. When the text says that God breathed into Adam the breath of life it means that God gave Adam a soul and air in his lungs. This is why the Lord would say in verse seventeen that if you eat from the tree of knowledge you will die because life isn’t simply breathing, but rather it’s being in a relationship with God. In essence, not being saved is death and sadly I see a ton of walking dead men, but the gospel promises us hope and life.


"Men, because of God we have a life worth living, a life worth giving, and a life that we can leave a godly legacy with."


If you know Jesus there should be a joy and a humble swag of dependence because you know that you’re saved by grace through faith and no longer defined by your failures. Life in Christ frees us from being defined by what life throws at us. Adam’s idea of life at this point was defined by God and not his environment and this is what life is like in his presence (Psalm 16:11 there’s the fullness of joy, not the absence of trial).

Check out what Donald Whitney says about the presence of God:

“In effect, living apart from a conscious sense that the Lord is present is to live as though God really is not there. More pleasure is sought in things, dreams, or people than in God. A relationship with God is reduced to mere religion. The spiritual disciplines devolve into mere duty or even legalism. Public worship becomes an obligation, not a privilege. Obviously, this is not the profile of a growing Christian.”

Men, because of God we have a life worth living (to live is Christ), a life worth giving (to die is gain), and a life that we can leave a godly legacy with (Gen. 5 and Enoch, he walked with God).

Life in Christ permeates every aspect of our lives, including our marriages. I’m looking forward to diving into these points more deeply as we discuss how the gospel makes us better husbands for God’s glory and his fame at the Orlando Boot Camp January 23-24.


Jerome Gay is the Lead Pastor of Vision International Church in Raleigh, NC.




Jerome Gay serves as the Lead Pastor of Vision Church; he is originally from Washington, DC and he a student of the scriptures. He is married to his wife Crystal who he met attending Saint Augustine’s College and the father of Jamari Christina Gay and Jerome Jordan Gay III, his family is only second to Christ. Jerome loves reading, writing, all sports and serving people however he can. He is currently working on his Master of Divinity in Pastor Ministry at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

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