Posted in: Marriage and Family
How to Handle Weekends as a Church Planting Family | Planter Wives Answer, Pt. 1
Last month in Dallas during the boot camp, many wives attended the Wives' Track hosted by Acts 29 church planter's wives. We recently posted audio from Part 1 of their Q&A time here. Below we're including portions of the transcription.
"No, You Can't Have Your Friends Spend the Night on Saturday."
Q: What are practical ways that you minister to your husbands? What do you do to recharge your husbands after Sunday?
Lauren: I try to have a home-cooked meal for him at lunchtime. That doesnʼt happen every time, especially if I sing, and I sing about once a month. But I at least trying to feed him something healthy. I try not to schedule anything that would further zap any emotional or spiritual strength out of him.
Susan: I would say the exact same thing. The weekends kind of wind down on Friday night and Saturday is a sacred time at our house. We time conversations. I donʼt bring up anything thatʼs really volatile or anything that could cause a fight on a Saturday because what happens on Saturday can affect him on Sunday. I learned that early on. Sunday afternoons, my husband is toast. I donʼt have a whole lot of expectations as to what heʼs going to do. So I give him that freedom.
Q: How did you handle Sundays when your kids where little?
Susan: I probably didnʼt do this really well. I was always the buffer and just saw myself as that. I was a drill sergeant; I would force them outside, and I sometimes locked the door! (They survived it.) But they just knew that this was their life. We laugh about it now. They survive those kinds of things; kids canʼt be satisfied immediately all the time, anyway. We donʼt want to raise them to be that selfish. They have to know that, “Daddy has to do this now, and youʼll be fine.”
Kara: I was just going to add that the great news is if you can start that pattern when theyʼre young, then when youʼre my age and your kids are going to prom and they want to have the breakfast at your house on Saturday, they donʼt get to. My kids stopped asking about weekend stuff, and then when I did get to say, “oh we can do that,” they were excited. Start them young with whatʼs to be expected.
Lauren: Weʼre in that right now. The good thing is that when your kids are younger your husband is younger, too. With Matt, if I sense that heʼs just tired I try to act as the buffer. But then if heʼs up to it and we talk and I ask, “do you want to take the kids to the park,” he may say, “yes.” Just feel it out with your husband. And our kids know weʼre not going to have friends stay the night on a Saturday night. Weʼre just not going to do that, and they respect that and its just part of life.
Stephanie: it depends on your husband, too. My husband is done Fridays. Heʼs made that a firm commitment. So Saturdays are our family day. It just has to do with your husband. To address the question about dealing with loving your husband on Sundays, when baby showers fall on Sundays, I just donʼt go. We talked about this recently because there was one. I have to get my nap so I can be ready to celebrate Sunday night. Thatʼs how I help my husband.