Posted in: Marriage and Family
Choosing Which Bride to Put First
Chan Kilgore has planted numerous churches in Florida and has many years in church planting ministry. Here he recounts a moment of great conviction from God – in how he was putting the church before his wife.
After years of working long and unhealthy hours in ministry, God graced me with a defining moment of repentance. It happened during the core phase of our church plant, just weeks after I had moved my young wife who was pregnant with our third daughter to Orlando to plant a church.
It was a Sunday evening. I was about 30 minutes into lecturing about Gospel values to my core group when I noticed my wife was sitting in the room, feeling sick. She is an incredibly godly wife and would never complain. She never wanted to “get in the way” of what God was doing through me.
As my eyes connected with hers, God’s spirit spoke to me. He simply said, “taker her home now.”
I hesitated and thought to myself, “But this is important.”
“More important than what?” came the inaudible reply.
I wish now that I had not hesitated, but responded immediately. But years of ignoring that still, small, quiet voice and the commands of scripture to pastor my wife had hardened my heart toward her needs.
I struggled for a few seconds (which felt like minutes) and finally I broke. I stopped in the middle of my lecture and confessed to my core group that I had often neglected my wife for the pursuit of “ministry idols.” I looked at the men that night I told them if I was going to pastor them well that I needed to pastor wife and daughters well.
I turned the meeting over to Jay my co-planter and took my very pregnant wife home. My wife cried almost all the way home that night. She couldn’t believe that I would put her first.